(This is weird - I just went to my shelves full of journals, kind of guessed which area this volume might reside in - and pulled it on the first try.)
Sunday, June 30, 2002
Life is always so complex. I rode both horses today and they were both little angels. I rode Rabbit this morning and Dewey tonight, on either side of the worst heat. It's summer with a vengeance. It was 96 degrees here this afternoon, and humid. Ellis said he went in the creek a record nine times. I probably went in five times, and took two cold showers. I hosed each horse off twice, once in the morning and again in the evening.
Rabbit and Dewey's good attitudes are returning. I didn't even call them this morning. But when they saw me approaching with a halter, they both jumped across the creek and ran right up to me, vying to be the chosen one.
I purposely trotted on Dewey tonight and he was great, in the arena, and I had no fear. I guess I'm going to keep the saddle that we picked up in Sauk City on the way home from Presque Isle. I have it on a seven day trial.
The other day I thought it fit bizarrely well; tonight I wasn't so sure. I like the saddle. It's a Bighorn cordura and suede, more expensive and less well-made than my Fabtron, but still nice. It's chocolate brown and weighs only 18 pounds. It cost $449, not counting a rear cinch and a girth strap.
Sandy, a neat woman who helped me, said I'd have a hard time finding a fit for a horse matching Dewey's description. (Round back, big, barely any withers - no good space for a saddle to settle) She said I'd have to compensate with my posture and balance. She was so sweet. She assured me that I will get over my accident-sparked fear. She had been through a similar thing and knew what I was going through.
All the above is a roundabout way of saying that things are coming together, a little bit, at least, in regards to the horses. I've only felt in the last couple weeks that I don't need to feel in such a hurry all the time. If I ride them only once a week and they progress slowly, so what? I've got probably at least 30 years to develop my communication and relationship with them.*
It's no surprise that just as I release a lot of anxiety about the horses that I have to enter the grief zone once again because of a cat. Life certainly is a series of tests, always.
* Sadly, Rabbit died at age 16 1/2 so I guess I did need to be in a hurry with him.